THE CHIMES BEFORE MIDNIGHT

VIII

Discover who you truly are…

… beyond the expectations of family, friends, loved ones…

… and those you have just met.

It will mean working to overcome your fears.

The fears that come from within…

… and those created by family, friends, loved ones…

… and those you have just met.

Recently I joined a friend and sat in as an observer in his acting class.

As I watched the class go through their acting exercises it became apparent that one of the students, “Dave,” was a very challenging personality.

Dave was easily frustrated, looked like he was carrying a lot of anger, and he wasn’t interacting with the other acting students in a meaningful way.

One of the reasons I came that day was because I had heard the acting teacher, “Bruce,” was sharp, even wise in the way he guided those who were studying with him. And in observing the class, I immediately got the sense that Bruce was fully aware of the challenging situation with Dave.

With about an hour left in the class, Bruce introduced a new exercise where one of the actors would deliver a line of dialogue (scripted by the teacher) and another student would “improve” a reaction to the line. 

Bruce scribbled a line down on a piece of paper and summoned Dave to where he was his sitting. He would be the actor to feed the lines to the other acting students.

Dave looked at what his teacher had written, then moved to the stage opposite the first acting partner.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you,” said Dave to the other actor.

The other actor took off with his “improv” response. His performance lasted about a minute and elicited polite applause by the other students at its conclusion.

Dave walked over to get his next line which Bruce had once again scribbled on a piece of paper.

The student read the line and immediately raised a pair of confused eyes toward his teacher.

Bruce’s reaction to his student’s perplexed state was his refusal to engage in any eye contact. The acting teacher simply stared toward the stage with a blank stare.   

To his credit, Dave didn’t say another word, and took the stage again.

He quickly recited his line to the next actor standing opposite him.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.”

His line reading was almost identical to the one he gave before.

But to the other actor, it didn’t matter. Her response was to run with the line and deliver a performance that upon its climax was greeted with wild applause by everyone in the acting class.

The acting teacher scribbled a new line on a piece of paper and held it up in the air.

Dave walked over, took one look at was written, and this time did not hesitate to express his anger. 

“You want me to say the same line again?”

Bruce didn’t seem at all bothered by Dave’s growl. Though he still remained silent, this time the teacher was looking directly at his student with the same blank expression on his face as before. 

Dave stormed back on stage and took his place opposite the next actor.

This time he spit out his line with a ton of anger --

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you!”

The other student opposite Dave reacted to the emotion embodying the reading of the line and did his best to live up to the goal of the improv exercise. The actor portrayed a “character” responding to the anger coming from Dave’s line reading with an emotional presentation that had the rest of the class riveted. 

Again, to Dave’s credit, he noticed the authentic quality of his fellow actor’s performance, and he also realized how in many ways it had been inspired by his angry line reading.

Enthusiastic applause greeted the end of the improv recital. 

Dave looked across the room.

Bruce had already scribbled Dave’s line on a piece of paper and was holding it up for him.

As he walked from the stage, some of the students began to laugh. But other students began to clap. And by the time Dave took the note from his acting teacher’s hand, the whole acting class started to cheer.

Dave made a big production out of reading the note, then he ran excitedly up to the stage to take his place opposite his next acting partner.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you.”

This time Dave delivered his line with a multitude of different emotions. 

And the other actor responded in kind delivering a performance that was the most nuanced and complicated than any of those who had preceded him.

There was an ovation from the class of students at the end, but this time the applause was no doubt meant to shower with praise… both of the actors on stage. 

                                                            

We are all brought into this world without any rehearsals.

Bit by bit we “learn” our “role” in life.

The predominant way we learn our “lines” is by those around us -- family, friends, adversaries,  and eventually everyone we come in contact with.

Along the way, most of us will have several opportunities to reject playing the role assigned to us… perhaps branch out… or even play a completely different role.

Most stay with the role that has been “assigned” to them and either work on their performance or fail to deliver what others expect.

Others figure out ways that they can distinguish themselves playing the part originally given them, getting comfortable with saying some of the lines, but also developing their own spin on the “character” they are expected to play.

And then there are those who make the choice of going for a role completely different than the original one assigned to them by family, friends, adversaries… and circumstances. Their search is for a role that they feel is one they were born to play. The search is for a role that is closer to their “authentic self.”  

From the start we are given a “role” to play in life, one that is pretty much dictated to us from the moment we are born.

Much of what will happen in our life is already determined by the circumstances of our birth, the location and timing… but also the genes we inherit from those who are our biological parents.

And from there we will eventually develop a “script.”

In the beginning the “lines” of this script are natural – “Mommy… Daddy…”

But as years go by, the scripted lines are not only in our genes they are also dictated by writers brought in to save the production – “If you want to go potty, you need to say, ‘I need to go potty.’”

And during this part of your production, each actor learns there are ways of speaking, ways of properly expressing your character’s needs. Clever ways to hide your desires, but still making them known, rather than simply saying, “I need to have sex.”

The conflict arises (and it always arises to some degree or another) when the actor no longer wants to just keep reading the lines provided by the same writers who have previously supplied the lines.

“I’m sorry, I would not say it that way, and I can’t say it that way. And if you insist I say it that way, I’m walking from the set and calling my agent.”

Thus begins the process of performing in a role, from a “script” that is either supplied by those who are caring for us… those we befriend… those we are fearful of… those we aspire to be like… or a script that includes all of those writers, but the writer on the top line, the one who gets credit for your script at the end of each day… is you.

Who we are should have an impact.

What we experience should change who we are.

Certain events will never change who we really are.

Who we end of being over the years should be like the improv exercise.

It’s about working with the random events and people you meet in life, but also playing off on a daily basis those actors who will help you define the real you.

The process of growing as a human being is not to throw out all the lines you’ve memorized over the years, but to reject those words spoken by others in which you simply cannot say anymore because you don’t believe in them.

We are all actors given a role, and eventually we must discover if the role we were given is one we want to play, one we can no longer play, or one we aspire and will work hard to play.

The goal is to discover the authentic you.

            Not the role given to you.

But the you that you were born to play.